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Once she told men she was dating about herpes, many ran in the opposite direction."One guy, I thought he was Mr. But then when I told him that I had herpes, he said, 'Forget my phone number, forget my address,' and he blocked me from being able to message him on the computer," she says.Jennifer joined atlantahclub.com, another site for people with herpes.These sites immediately take several questions off the table.Members don't have to worry about when to tell other members they have herpes, since everyone in the group does."I would have been happy to have had just one person to unload everything I was feeling," he says."Instead I found more than 500.""Charlotteh" was started two years ago by Pam - who, like John, doesn't want her last name used.She discovered she had herpes, and dating had become difficult."I'm 27, working on a Ph.D., own a second home, I have a master's degree, but when I go into a relationship, I bring this with me, and that's hard," she says.

"It's confusing, because you don't know when the right time is to tell somebody.

Should you be up front and get it over with or wait until the person develops feelings for you?

It's a big ethical problem."For Jennifer Nicholas, it was more than just an ethical problem.

(CNN) -- When John got divorced after 12 years of marriage, he took a deep breath and launched into the dating scene."And wham, with my very first girlfriend, I caught herpes," he says.

"You feel betrayed and all of a sudden separated from the rest of the world.

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I thought at the time that the girl who gave it to me and I were the only people in the world who had it."But John and his date are far from alone.

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